When you're Gone
by AlexRiley
Summary: Serena disappeared and all can Blair do is deal with it and wait for Serena to come back.


It had been a month since Serena disappeared off the face of Manhattan. Blair began to shine as an individual instead of a shadow behind Serena's glory. Everyone knew her as Blair, Blair Waldorf and not Blair, Serena's best friend. She was beginning to receive things only Serena would achieve and it made her happy.

If someone were to look at Blair right now, they would believe that she was grateful that Serena was gone. Except, everyone knows looks can be deceiving. 

Blair loved the attention she was getting from everyone, but it felt empty. Everyone loved her, everyone knew her, and everyone took notice of her-- except for one person.

Serena van der Woodsen.

She disappeared and no one knew why, but Blair was determined to find out where and why Serena disappeared.

Blair began her way to the van der Woodsen household, hoping that the rest of Serena's family was still in the city.

As Blair found herself at the entrance of the van der Woodsen penthouse, she firmly knocked on the door. She stood in front of the door, waiting, hoping someone was inside. Blair tried again, knocking on the door harder. 

"_Of course they all leave_," Blair sighed, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets. She furrowed her brow when she felt something cold in her right hand.

"A key?" Blair looked at the silver key she pulled out and noticed a thin gold chain attached to it. There, also, dangled a silver S which made Blair smile. She lifted the key and inserted it into the lock, mentally praying it was the penthouse key. As she reluctantly turned the door knob, it clicked opened.

She walked into the penthouse and retrieved the key, before quietly closing the door behind her. Glancing around, Blair found the place to be inhabited, suggesting the van der Woodsen's were simply out for the day.

Blair soon found her feet guiding her to Serena's room. Again, it was locked.

"_I don't believe the same key's going to work for two locks..."_ Blair tilted her head and looked at the key, before deciding to give it a try. The door clicked open, amusing the brunette.

"_Only you'd have the same lock as the front door_," Blair smiled, walking into the room. She closed the door behind her, making sure she still had the key with her. 

_**I always needed time on my own  
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone  
And the bed where you lie  
Is made up on your side**_

Blair looked around and found that the room wasn't changed. It was still made and clean, but it lacked the feeling of someone living in it. She then made her way around the room, hoping she'd figure out why Serena disappeared.

Nothing in the room seemed to indicate about the girl's whereabouts, sending Blair's hopes crashing. She took a seat on the bed and heard a muffled crack from underneath.

_**When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?**_

Blair reached underneath between the mattresses and found a shirt that enveloped a smaller book. She took a long look at the small navy blue book that had Serena's signature across the front as well as a lock.

Blair didn't know whether or not to try and open the book, realizing it could be a diary, but the curiosity was building in her. She began to berate herself with all the situations she could put herself if she opened and read the diary. What would Serena think of her? What would Serena feel about her reading personal entries? What would Serena do to her? Would Serena forgive her?

Everything ended with Serena finding out. Then again, Serena was gone and who knows how long. 

"Ah!" Blair cried out, tossing the book across the bed, along with the key.

_**When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day  
And make it okay  
I miss you**_

Blair groaned when she realized she tossed her key. She turned and reached for her, but jerked back when she found her key sitting beside the lock. The small S charm seemed to fit in the contour of the lock. 

"You'd be the only one to give me the key," Blair smiled to herself, crawling towards the pillows where the journal and key landed on. She took hold of her key and the journal and pressed the charm into the lock, snapping the locking strap off.

"Now or never, Waldorf," Blair reached for the shirt the journal was in and leaned back against the pillows, opening the journal. She took a deep breath and began to skim her eyes across the pages.

Each entry was dated before the departure and each entry was a flashback of all the good times Blair and Serena had. Blair began to bring the shirt closer to her face, inhaling whatever lingering scent of the blonde was left.

_**I've never felt this way before  
Everything that I do  
Reminds me of you  
And the clothes you left  
They lie on the floor  
And they smell just like you  
I love the things that you do**_

None of the entries seemed to tell Blair as to why Serena disappeared, it all seemed to tell her that Serena didn't want to leave. She began to carefully read the text, hoping there was something she missed.

_**When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?**_

When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day  
And make it okay  
I miss you

Blair made her way to the final entry. Dated the day Serena disappeared. This entry was different from the others; it was more emotional in the sense of sadness.

_So, this is the last time I'll write in this for a while.  
I hope that I'm not making a mistake by leaving.  
I need time and space.  
Not from Blair, I need her, but-- I don't know.  
All I know is that this is for us, and that we'd be better if I do this.  
It'll seem like I'm abandoning her, but I'm not.  
I'm not letting her down, but if I am, I'll be there to get her back up.  
Self-discovery, I guess that's what you could call this.  
The key, Blair has the second key to this and knowing Blair, she'd try to figure out what happened to me.  
No, no mafia is out to get me.  
Blair, if you're reading this, I'll be back.  
I still love you, never forget that.  
We're not breaking up, got that?  
It's space, down time really.  
I'm probably making it worse.  
Life and its trials and tribulations, a pain I tell you.  
B, if you're still reading..._

_**We were made for each other  
Out here forever  
I know we were**_

_-Serena van der Woodsen_

Blair closed the book, locking it. She fell to her side and lied on the bed, holding the shirt as close as possible. All she could do now was wait for Serena. Tears numbly washed down her face, Blair didn't care, she'd cry until she had no more tears left. She'd cry until the pain was gone, until Serena came back.

_**And all I ever wanted was for you to know  
Everything I do I give my heart and soul  
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me  
Yeah**_

When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day  
And make it okay  
I miss you


End file.
